How to Gently Break it to the Children that You’re Divorcing

How to Gently Break it to the Children that You’re Divorcing

You and your spouse have made the hard decision to seek a divorce. However, you haven’t thought about how it will affect the children when you tell them. You may wonder what is the best way to let them know, and you have been unable to find the answer.

Most divorce literature discusses the procedural and legal things about divorce, but fail to mention the children’s reaction to such a life changing event.

Strategies to Break the News

There are certain ways to tell your children about divorcing that can make the news less traumatic and help them adjust to the changes in their lives that are sure to come.  To help the conversation go as smoothly as possible, there are some strategies to follow:

  • The place, surroundings, and circumstances that you choose to tell your children should be carefully chosen to assure calmness and no distractions.
  • Siblings do not like secrets or surprises and like to be included in important discussions. Tell all the children at the same time instead of talking to each separately so they can share their feelings together.
  • Parents should avoid placing blame on each other or somehow making the children feel guilty or responsible. You should convey to them that it was a mutual decision that is for the best and that both parents still love and care for them.
  • Children’s reactions can be surprising or emotional, so it is important to not attempt to shut down their expression of feelings. It is healthy process that they need to go through to cope with the divorce.

Be Honest for the Children’s Sake

No matter how harsh or painful their reaction to the news may be, it is the parents job to remain supportive and loving. Be honest with them and answer questions they are sure to have. They may feel their life is turned upside down and will never be the same. So, their reactions are completely understandable.

Attorney Rex B Bushman is an experienced family law and divorce attorney who will guide your through the difficult divorce process.